10.11.04 - 12:58 am

dear theresa thornton,
i want you to know that i am the reason your daughter is alive today. i am the reason you have a daughter you can see and talk to and touch and have her look at you with life in her eyes and a warm healthy tone to her skin. i am the reason she is able to laugh, eat and sleep.
without me, your daughter would be dead, or something very close to it.
if she had not gotten pregnant she would not be the daughter you know now. she would be angry. she would be pale. she would have dark circles under her eyes and her body would sweat methamphetamines. she would lie, she would steal. eventually she would face legal challenges that ultimately you would be responsible for. the deeper she would sink into narcotics the higher the chance she would be involved in physically abusive relationships. long lasting abusive relationships.
i want you to acknowledge that you have your daughter now better than when i found her. she is now better than she was in your care. i want you to acknowledge that your daughter had some very poor individuals in her life that you allowed to stay. i want you to realize that had she gotten pregnant with any of them, her life would be dramatically different. i want you to reailze that in spite of your foolish and ridiculous and careless encrouragement for sarah to remain pregnant, that it was me ultimately who gave you your daughter back. it was nothing you did. it was nothing your parents did. it was nothing your brother and sister in law in salem did. it was nothing sarah cared to do for herself.
i am and was her support. i am and was the reason her life changed for the better.
when you see ashton, and feel a sense of joy at being a young grandmother, i want you to realize that someones life was sacrificed in its entirety for you to have a grandson and a daughter. that you realize that extent of what i have and will have to give to your family has made it better than when i found it.
i also want you to realize that you are still sarahs mother, and that you are quite capable of paying attention to what you have raised and acknowledging that you have made some severe mistakes in sarahs upbringing. you need to feel comfortable stepping in and telling sarah that she is wrong. that her behavior is unacceptable. that she needs to get her GED. that she needs to stop smoking. that she needs to fix her anger and her lack of respect for anybody but herself, and even that is failing her. you need to listen to other people and their responses to sarah and her behavior. you need to initiate a relationship with people who know your daughter for who and how she is instead of how you ignore she is.
this sounds self righteous. this sounds like i am uttering words from a flawless mouth. from lips that have never lied. from hands that are clean of anger and mistakes.
that is not the case. this is from someone who is tired of being a monster to you and your family. tired of being a silent voice to your ignorance and carelessness. this is from someone who wants to be acknowledged. supported. and talked to.
this is all from someone who knows your daughter better than you.
and its absolutely true.