10.24.04 - 10:32 am

im sitting in my room this morning. greasy. unshowered. unkempt.
and its been like this since friday.
i have to work. then im going to watch a performance by the brain in which he rapes a young lady. a very gutsy performance for oregon state in light of recent events.
my room is a mess. my fish tank needs to be wiped down. i need to go through the voters manual. i need to get rid of a old smelly recliner chair that had been the throne of my desk.
i went to bed sometime before 11 last night. woke up nearly twelve hours later. i had some exciting long dreams. i want to shower and fold my laundry and, if all goes as planned, run around with my dog before i have to leave and get some burger king.
i cant really tell how im feeling. looking around my room and seeing all the things that make me happy and even a wide band of bright sunlight laying itself over my desk and hands....even then im trying to feel how i want. i guess i just dont have enough endorphines stowed away somewhere. i have plenty of sad feelings though for some reason. just an overall sense of unhappiness.

i think i just am tired of dealing with the same problems every day.
sarah and school.
every day.