01.16.05 - 11:34 am

yeah, i guess youre right. ive become that beast. that diabolical creature out for sex or women, disregarding anything other than my own desires.

but do not get confused, these feelings of search and obtain arent to satiate an unbridled labido. theyre designed to rid my thoughts of her. to beat her current status with someone else.

how foolish and immature do i have to be to want flesh as a distraction instead of adventure or knowledge. but how ignorant does one have to be to know that neither of those can soothe thoughts burned into the tissues of my brain; thoughts that refuse to be cooled. how many other people are able to deny the feelings of loss and pain with just menial distractions as a book or car ride?
how much blanketing of your thoughts is one really capable of in the minutes or hours it takes to fall asleep in the dark, alone in your bed with only yourself to distract your thoughts. a hurt and depressed self, trying in vain to aid the hurt and depressed thoughts and morale of that which feels. its reciprocal. unless suddenly one of the two is able to relieve some of the symptoms, the sharing of the discomfort will be traded back and forth until one simply gives up.
its time for work. temporary release. shes at work too.

but she works with him.