10.07.05 - 12:52 am

what is it? what do i lack? where am i failing as a decent wonderful person to be with? what more are you looking for?

im so angry. so angry at you for doing this. for making this longer and more painful than it ever had to be.

and now some thirty minutes have passed, ive discussed these feelings with someone else...and you are gone.

i know once you turn 21 you will get even worse. you will sleep with even more people. and i know i will not wait. i will not wait because i will be nothing to you. i am nothing to you.

i need to focus on the people who are important to me. those who make me happy. those who actually care. those who are actually present in my life.

i make a face of disgust, but i go to sleep content and satisfied. and longing for the next time i see her.

and that person is no where near you in any respect.