09.10.06 - 3:10 am

so im pretty sure its just going to continue getting more and more petty and silly. its a verbal arm wrestling match, and the wager is always ashton. tonights spectacle was a complete battle of will. heres the set up: my father hadnt seen ashton nor myself in a few weeks, so i decided to stay at his house friday evening. since my usual babysitter in corvallis was unavailable, and none of my friends typically want to watch ashton 9 hours while i work, my father offered to help. so saturday morning, i left for corvallis, leaving ashton in jantzen beach, assuming that sarah would want to get ashton around 12 or so sunday morning, as per usual. so i requested my father meet sarah in tualatin, since i knew she would never want to drive the incredible distance to jantzen beach to pick up ashton. he agreed.

(this is something ive done on several occasions, only ashton is usually staying overnight at my moms, and sarah just comes to pick him up there. never with any complaints.)

then i get a text message while at work. something about ashton and sarah going crabbing, and her needing ashton in salem by 9 am sunday morning. (unfortunately, without thinking, i must have deleted my responses to sarahs messages to save space so i could keep text messaging, since, i cant find them to transcribe. so my responses are replicated and guesses to the best of my memory and ability)

sarah: ill be in salem tonight.

me: well, ashton is at my fathers. he can meet you in tualatin.

sarah: no. you need to have ashton in salem by nine tomorrow morning. im not meeting your dad. so i suggest you pick him up tonight if you cant wake in the morning. im going to salem after work tonight and were leaving from salem in the morning.

me: well, im sorry, but im not driving to jantzen beach from corvallis to pick up ashton and then drive him to salem for you.

sarah: this is your responsibilty jordan you should inform me if ashton wont be in corvallis. its not my job to pick him up from your dads if hes supposed to be with you.

me: im sorry, but my usual saturday babysitter is unavailable. my father hadnt seen ash in a long time and offered to watch him. my dad can meet you in tualatin in the morning. at like 830 if you want.

sarah: you need to get ash. im not meeting your fucking dad. youre his parent. not your dad. you are supposed to have him. its your weekend not your dads. you need to let me know when you arent going to have him and hes going to be with someone elsewhere.

me: well im sorry, maybe my dad should just keep him saturday then. im not driving all the way up there and then all the way to salem, just so you can roll out of bed and leave at 9 in the morning and do nothing.

sarah: no. ashton is coming with me. its your weekend you have him. dont judge me by saying roll out of bed. this is ridiculous. be responsibile. youre his parent. not my responsibility to meet your dad. its your weekend.

me: your attacks on my weekend are absurd. youve had your mom watch him on many weekends while you work.

sarah: im not attcking YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. so you meet your dad.

me: im sorry. you can take it or leave it. he can meet you in tualatin. youll have to wake up just an hour early to be there by 830 and back by nine. or you can have a family member or friend meet my dad tonight if you want. this is just poor planning and forethought.

sarah: your weekend. your dad. you drive. your car. im not going out of my way because of your sitter. when ashtons with you i think corvallis and i base my plans on him being there. dont just assume ill meet your family somewhere.

hes our fucking son jordan not anyone elses its not their responsibility.

me: again you can have someone meet my dad tonight if that will make it easier on you.

sarah: what was your original fucking plan? im not going to just let you have him if youre doing stuff like this.

why cant you just get him tonight?

me: because i dont get off work till late. im not driving all the way up there.

sarah: cant you just drive stay at your dads tonight and meet me in salem in the morning.

i get off work 3 am just listen to my message.

her message:
"...jordan your way of communication is horrible. you wont talk to me on the phone, you wont answer when i call you, and like theres no way that i can ever talk to you unless its through text messaging. i dont want a parent like that...with you. it is absolutely ridiculous. all im trying to do is figure out how my morning is going to go. im just really used to ashton being at your house. and i figured if you were to plan anything else you would let me know. so i...i really need you to work with me on this one, ok? its partially your fault for not telling me where ashton was going to be tonight, so could you please just try and get ashton to salem in the morning sometime? like its just...ugh its just really irritating me. i am...was...you need to tell me when youre going to do shit like this. because it just ruins my whole schedule. and just because you switched, oops this time isnt going to be me changing around my schedule, like i mean you did it also, so i shouldnt be the one that has to suffer the consequences only. you need to help me out too. hes your son, not your dads. i dont know what else to say. i have to work at five and i need to get this figure out because im not going to get off work till 2 in the morning and getting up and driving that early after work such late hours and driving to pick him up and driving out there is just going to be...harder than i thought and i had it all planed out for tonight and im used to him being at your house. could you try and do...ugh...its stressing me out that your not answering your phone. im just tring to figure out so i dont have to run around all over the place. so just call me or leave me a message or just try to do something so i dont have to drive all the way to tualatin in the morning. ok? bye."

and that was it. i eventually apologized, to an extent. i said i was sorry that my only fault was that i didnt assume she was going to go crabbing at 9 am on some random sunday morning. i mean, shes never done anything like this, why should i have assumed that this weekend she suddenly would make such plans? eventually her mom calls me to arrange a meeting tonight. so i get my father to meet mike at the shell station. hes 23 minutes late. but my father is like that, not to mention its nearly a 35 minute drive from his house to tualatin. and my poor little boy is just pawned off again. as per usual. hes supposed to be behind me asleep in my bed. this whole thing was just....confusing. i mean, i stood my ground. i did my best to do what made sense and was fair for both parties. i didnt think it fair that she got to just wake up and have ashton delivered to her. we are supposed to drive and meet in middles. fairness. equality. and 99% of sunday mornings, i tell her, hey just be at my moms at 11 or noon, and she says ok. and nothing more. but the day she goes and plans something extravagant and different, she doesnt inform me ahead of time and it throws a huge wrench in her gears. listening to her cry at the end of her message made me feel so sad for her. like i should help her. reminded me of all the things i would do for her were we still together. because then, something of this nature wouldnt even be an issue. of course i would drive the two hours to my fathers house to pick up ashton so she could have him by 9 am the following morning. regardless of when i got off work.

if we were together.

but since thats not the case, i did my part to arrange things for her in the easiest way possible. the fairest of ways. she saw it as ridiculous and not suiting her needs enough. and thus, i am not responsible. and i put ashtons responsibility on other people. which she does.....3 to 4 days a week, on abby, her mom and maggie. i just feel like, when i have something planned, i get everything organized and taken care of. but when she tries to do it, she does it so sloppy and carelessly. she automatically assumes i never have plans, and that im there to be her on-call babysitter.

either way, i apologized to her again for it being such a mess. and that i hope it works out.

even though im really jealous that im not the one taking ashton crabbing.