12.29.06 - 9:25 pm

it was too soon.

i really thought i had a few more weeks, at least a few more days. sure he was responsible for thousands of deaths under his regime, but so far our own regime has close to three thousand deaths under its fingernails.

he was fascinating to watch.

his eyes had such unwaivering passion, even at sixty nine years of age. and inside that suit of his, he carried himself with an immense amount of distinguished pride.
i felt as if i should have taken him in. adopted him from the iraqi government.
"ok ok ok, its fine now. ill just take him. you guys just do your thing over there. ill make sure he behaves himself."
eventually, in the mornings, id wake and stumble out into the living room to find to ashton sitting in his lap. a blanket wrapped carefully over both of them, while each of them slowly ate from bowls of cereal, transfixed by the cartoons on the television. neither of them having the slightest concern for their wild, matted morning hair.
id bring him to parties with me, always in that impeccable tieless suit of his. id introduce him to groups of people, and he would shyly lift a hand to say a silent hello before looking away.
as ashton aged, he would invite him to show and tell at school. after his introduction, he would come strolling in from behind the classroom door, a hush falling over the class. and in unrestrained arabic, he would detail his life, his favorites colors, and his most treasured memories, in complete disregard to the strictly english speaking 8 year olds before him. when he finished, he would furrow his lower lip, nod and give a quick wink to ashton, smiling and sitting in the front row.

sigh.

i'll miss you buddy. thanks for letting me use you as ichat buddy icon.