12.17.07 - 11:09 pm

as i sometimes do, i thumb through my previous entries and compare who and where i was to who and where i am today. tonight, i looked through my previous birthdays.

2007, the acropolis and a small group of friends. a girlfriend. and even my father.

2006, i was getting fired from my job of 4.5 years, and upset that saddam hussein was about to be executed.

2005, i was hoping julia would remember to wish me a happy birthday, and hoping we could start being friends again. it wouldnt be until 2007 that she speaks up.

2004, its morning and im sitting in a hardware store, looking at julia standing in a door way. in florence, italy. we liked each other back then.

2003, im only a week from having to dig my car keys out of the bushes late at night outside of sarahs house. she will hold ashton and smoke to get me angry. and i will continually crush packs of cigarrettes her grandmother bought her.

2002, im in thailand. im with my father in my first nonamerican experience. im about to leave for phuket in the morning. i still hadnt told my father yet.

2001, is unlisted. but christmas and dr dre were on my mind.

in these several years, i reflect on what i lost most, instead of what i gained. i lost girls. one in particular. its not regret i feel for it all, i think its shame.