11.20.13 - 4:57 pm

i return from florida and julie tells me my car smells so bad she could throw up.

ok, to be fair, occasionally i leave aquarium things in there overnight, and by morning they rarely smell pleasant. a quick drive with the windows down and suddenly that new car smell returns. so this wasn�t entirely unexpected.

however, i leave for an extended weekend and return home to find out my car does in fact smell. and that smell is feces. smeared on the floor mat of the backseat. smeared on a rogue coffee mug. smeared on the carpet of the backseat. in the front seat, the perpetrator attempted to clean his escape with a napkin and towel. with the quantity of fecal matter, both were necessary apparently. although the napkin certainly looked more like it came out of a honey bucket than simply being used to wipe off a shoe.

i am not pleased. both ashton and julie deny their involvement. i certainly hope my car wasn�t used as a hobo toilet while i was gone. mystery remains unsolved.