01.26.14 - 8:09 pm

garage sales are ridiculously lame.

we spent a few days gathering up excess items from our collective materialism and started an aggressive advertising campaign via the ether of craigslist and online word of mouth as a means to disposal. this weekend was the sell off, the great severing of ties between us and belongings we no longer have a use for and probably never did. slightly embarrassed by the useless crap we creatively displayed on our driveway, we none the less sat out in the cold and waited. with frozen hands and increasing resentment for all of this junk, we hawked our goods like desperate salesmen.

for fucks sake this shit is cheap, and yet people passed over them like they were rocks. i thought this entire garage sale process was based on bartering and negotiating an even shittier price than the one listed. but almost no one has done so. id been had.

"how much is this super awesome digital camera?"
"$10"
"oh...no thank you."

where else would you be able to buy a digital camera for $10?! youre an idiot.

i had one guy talk me down on some insignificant trinket from $1 to fifty cents. but when he came back from his car all he had was thirty five cents. fine. take it. get it out of here.

its too cold for this. across the street is an oasis of sunshine and warmth. our garage sale is in a cavern of icy darkness. and as 2 pm arrives, its been suggested we take down our wares and drop them off at the nearest goodwill. we made close to $300 dollars im sure off all our stuff. not bad, i suppose. i make more pulling 1" pieces of my corals out of my fish tank.

the greatest reward however, what will make all of these frozen hands and wasted weekend hours worth it, will be how little useless junk we will have to move across country. and free of it we will be from this day forward.