05.25.14 - 11:44 am

ok, so obviously there was a rough patch a few weeks back. it all started with the blossoming of young love. a young, impressionable boy, mature beyond his few ten years of age. this boy spent most of his time surrounded by older neighborhood children, all in their early teens, all involved in things kids in their early teens are experimenting with: love, swearing, sex and pushing the boundaries set by their parents. this is no place for a ten year old.
and then there was the girl. fourteen, pretty, damaged. this was a girl who started texting with ashton constantly, and ashton reciprocated the attention. the girl was insecure, and suffering from ailments beyond the capacity of a ten year old boy to understand. when she would relate to ashton her plans for suicide using her mothers prescription pills, he of course vowed to stop her. why should a ten year old be put into a position where he is coaching someone through suicide contemplation? he shouldn't be.
the girl would eventually try out suicide anyways.
a neighbor girl would find her alive and unconscious, she would spend some time in the hospital with concerns of liver failure. and with that julie and i would make it clear, he is not to spend time with her. he would agree.
but he was only placating us. the girl would return home and immediately started her relationship with ashton. but now it was in secret. when i would come into our neighborhood and see them, they both would take off running. if they were sitting in my driveway, she would run off. if i asked who he was playing with, he would say no one. if i asked who he hung out with in the neighborhood after school, her name would not make the list. their attempts at hiding their friendship was growing increasingly less tolerable. when julie and i again expressly forbid him from spending any time with her, he said he would. but he did not. he just got better at lying about it. and fighting us every step of the way defending his maturity.
he should be treated like an adult, he said. he was mature. he knew everything, and that equated maturity. we treat him like a child, and that makes him angry. he knows the boundaries of sex and girls, and that makes him mature. he says julie and i are just mean to him, and that our rules are meant only to hurt him and his feelings. he would deny up and down that they were "dating". they were just friends. his high pitched voice and tears were supposed to convince me.
so when his friends started lying to us along with him about their relationship, it was time for public shaming and parental involvement. we met up with his friends mom. we met up with the girls mom. sat her and the girl down and explained. she was fourteen. he was ten. there is a huge gap not only in years, but maturity and development. she was not to see him again. the mom reiterated that they had already discussed this. to me the mom seemed overwhelmed and essentially just parroted to the daughter what julie was saying. whatever, it got the job done.
ashton was grounded for two weeks. there was a marked change in his behavior. he wasn't nearly as confrontational. argumentative. he said his please and thank yous. he was helpful around the house.
he did a very good job of responding to our conditions. the girl stay has stayed out of sight. to our knowledge ashton doesnt see her beyond a few down-the-street-glances. when she moves away early next month, both julie and i will be very relieved that this chapter of early romance will be closed. at least until middle school. ugh.